


my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you

by orphan_account



Series: plantverse [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: 3+1 Things, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Dan Howell/Phil Lester, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Trans Phil Lester, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-09-27 01:49:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20399692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: phil tries to propose to dan, but it flops.





	my heavy set of cares evaporates all around you

**Author's Note:**

  * For [icosmics](https://archiveofourown.org/users/icosmics/gifts).

> this can be read as standalone, but this fits in with the plantboy one-shot i wrote a month ago.
> 
> icosmics uwu
> 
> title: 11:11 by waterparks

“what’s on your mind?” dan asks, snapping phil out of his trance.

phil doesn’t say anything to him. dan just hugs phil tightly before going back to what he was doing before, building a terrarium. phil gives him a peck on the cheek.

phil’s been thinking about a lot lately. it’s hard not to. it feels like he has to think about something or else he’ll die. phil hates thinking about everything, but dan’s helping him not think so much. he feels like he can let go of these worries when dan’s around.

that’s one of the many reasons why phil loves dan, and one of the many reasons why phil wants to marry him. marriage is the biggest thing on his mind now. they’ve been together for three years now, and phil’s been recovering well. he’s gotten top surgery, he doesn’t get panic attacks anymore, and he’s been happier than ever. it’s a perfect time to get married. 

he doesn’t think he’d be here if it weren’t for dan. that’s the whole reason why he moved back to the town despite his mother’s worries. his mum thought that he wasn’t ready for it, but phil said that he should put his life back together whether or not he’s ready. phil didn’t really care if dan wasn’t interested anymore, because they could be friends regardless, but when dan reciprocated the feelings he was extremely happy. he still is. 

phil takes some creepshots of dan and his terrarium before getting up. “i’m going out on a walk, i’ll be back soon.”

dan asks if phil’s alright, and phil says that he just needs to clear his head. dan accepts that and gives him a kiss before sending phil off. that’s another thing about dan that phil appreciates, that they’re capable of spending time apart and trusting each other. his previous significant others didn’t exactly feel the same. 

they live in an apartment complex in the heart of the city. dan and phil moved there about a year into their relationship, when dan’s lease for his old place was ending and phil’s rent got to be too much for him with the billing office job. they’ve both left that place already, in order to find permanent careers. dan found his working as a drama teacher, and phil found one in being an interpreter.

phil steps out and takes in the fresh air around him. he likes that the complex is right next to a park, it makes him happy. the scenery is always pretty when he goes outside.

instead of walking through the park like normal, he crosses the street and walks to the shopping centre a few blocks away. there’s a jeweler there, and phil’s been stopping by every now and then to look for rings. he finally found one a few weeks ago, and now he’s picking it up. 

“thank you so much!” phil says, as the lady hands the box to him. 

“no problem, i hope she loves it.” she says.

phil’s too ecstatic to try to correct her. 

when he gets back to the apartment, he can smell dinner cooking. 

“hey, love.” dan kisses phil. “i didn’t think you would be back so early, so i thought i’d surprise you.”

“it’s okay. it’s the thought that counts.”

phil slips into their room and puts the ring box in a hoodie that he hasn’t worn in a long time. he doubts dan will find it there. he has a plan, it’s been in his mind for a while, but now that the ring is there, he feels like his plans are finally coming together. 

-

dan’s upset when he comes home from work one night. phil was in the lounge waiting for him to come home, like always. except this time he was going to take dan out to his favorite restaurant and propose to him when they get home. 

dan just throws his bag to the floor and curls up next to phil.

“why did i choose to be a teacher?”

phil pets his head, fiddling with the soft curls. dan used to straighten his hair all the time, but stopped when his only straightener broke after five years. dan was too lazy to get a new one, and he figured it was worth it if phil liked his curly hair that much. 

“i have no idea, love. what happened?” phil asks.

dan sighs melodramatically. “someone messed up on the sheet music order, and there’s been talk of the costume kids striking. i have no fucking idea, i’m just the teacher.”

he goes more into detail about how some people don’t even know their lines, and that people shouldn’t be thrown into his class just for art credit. there are other art classes at this school, why does his class have to be the one all the lazy people are thrown into. 

“it’ll be okay, you know that.”

phil gets up off the couch, and dan sits up. 

“come on, i know exactly what’ll make you feel better.”

they get dressed up and go to the restaurant anyways, because phil’s reservations aren’t going to be put to waste. he puts the ring back inside the hoodie pocket instead of leaving it in the suit. even though it would cheer dan up, phil doesn’t feel like he wants to do it tonight. he’s too anxious, time for plan b.

“it’s like you predicted the future with these reservations.” dan laughs. “thank you, by the way.”

“you’re welcome. i love you.”

“love you too, spork.”

-

the second time phil tries to propose to dan, there’s a fire. 

it's summertime, so dan doesn’t have to work. phil took the day off so that they could spend it together and eat takeaway, which they haven’t had in a while since dan wants to save money.it’s not a glamorous plan, but phil figures that it doesn’t really matter. he’ll have nerves whether or not he does a fancy plan.

they’re sitting in their underwear eating pad thai while watching anime when they suddenly hear the fire alarm of their building going off. phil says that he’s starting to smell smoke, which means that the fire is happening nearby. 

they quickly throw on some clothes from the floor, and then they’re out of there. it’s cold, and raining, and dan’s upset that their good day was ruined by some idiot that smoked even though they weren’t supposed to. dan’s in a bad mood, but it’s a specific one where he doesn’t want to talk to anyone but he wants phil around. phil isn’t suicidal, he knows that if he proposes to dan today it’ll turn out badly. 

when they’re finally let back inside, dan collapses onto the couch for a nap, and even though their tiny couch can barely handle one six foot tall person, phil joins him anyways. 

-

okay, so the first two attempts haven’t gone well, but that’s okay. third time’s the charm. it’s worked on his driving test, his job interviews, and within his love life. 

they’re walking together in that park next to their complex, talking about their future plans. they’re definitely going to spoil their children and pets, and they’ll have a nice two story home. 

phil’s wearing the hoodie he stored the ring in, but he moved the ring to his pants pocket. dan might ask for the hoodie later, knowing him. it’s a reminder of old times, back when he and dan first started going out. phil tells himself that it’s the perfect time to propose, and he believes it because he’s much more confident now.

it’s early september, and it’s the weekend, meaning that neither of them have work or anything else that could potentially stress them out. the weather’s lovely too. 

“i love you so much.” dan says.

phil turns back to him. “i love you more.”

dan has a smirk on his face. “no you don’t.”

“fight me, howell.” phil laughs. 

they talk about other things, and enjoy each other’s company. phil’s not paying attention to where he’s going, instead focusing on his latest obsession. 

that’s when he trips on a rock and falls over. he can hear something snap, and his wrist is in pain. dan immediately goes over to him and asks if he’s okay. 

“toast.” phil has no idea why he wanted that specifically, but that was the only thing that was clear to him right now. the pain in his wrist didn’t matter to him, no, he just wanted toast. 

dan rolls his eyes and they go to the hospital, despite phil’s whining for toast.

“oh, pipe down, mister. i’ll get you some fucking toast when you see the doctor.”

dan temporarily leaves him alone while he’s being examined to go to the cafeteria for some toast. the toast tastes like shit, because it’s hospital food and hospital food sucks, but phil’s quest for toast is over. 

his wrist isn’t injured that badly, he just needs to wear a cast for a few weeks.

phil forgets about the ring in his pocket until he takes a shower that night. phil just sighs and says that it’ll happen someday.

-

phil quits his job as an interpreter sometime in december. it’s a little bit rough considering that the holiday season is roaming around the corner, but they can survive. phil loved the job, it made good use of his linguistics degree, the one he spent so long getting. but he didn’t feel respected there, and he hasn’t gotten a raise at all. phil knew that the boss preferred others, which was fine, but when phil got turned down for a raise because they didn’t have it in the budget and jeremy got a raise later that afternoon, it hurt. 

dan suggests that they should go on a vacation so that phil could take his mind off of the job situation. at first it made phil even more anxious, but dan reassured him that it will be fine. 

it was much more than  _ fine _ . it was fantastic. 

they went to phil’s hometown, and dan finally met martyn, phil’s older brother. it’s been a running joke that every time dan and phil went back to phil’s home, martyn would be gone. the first time, martyn was on his honeymoon with cornelia. the second time, martyn had the flu. the third and fourth times were work. phil was happy that dan finally met martyn, because his brother’s support meant a lot to him.

dan take phil to all of his favorite spots from when he was little. the aquarium, the movie theater ten minutes away from the family home. they hang out in the park even though it’s freezing. phil feels so lucky that dan remembered all of phil’s favorite places. 

“love?”

phil turns around from looking at the fountain to see dan down on one knee, holding open a ring. 

“phil, i love your singing, and i love your weird antics, and i love everything about you. i would love to spend the rest of my life with you, i love you so very much. will you marry me?”

phil’s crying now, but he nods. “of course.”

dan slips the ring on his finger, and they kiss. 

later that night, while they’re in bed together, phil speaks up.

“i was gonna ask you to marry me. i’ve tried, like three times. things keep messing up though.”

dan laughs. 

“tell me all about it.”

**Author's Note:**

> thank you!
> 
> tumblr: sudden-sky


End file.
